Expecting silence and sunshine was an ignorant thought. Maybe this thought was born because of the picturesque scenes displayed on postcards sold for 3 Euro, or maybe, because of the hallucinations I was experiencing from the heat. Either way, silence was not golden.
As we walked down the narrow stone path into the sand, the view of vast quantities of people seemed to be all I could see for miles. Immediately, all the students I was with were looking for topless and nude people. They wanted to truly “experience” Lido Beach. By experience, I think they meant get a good look and laugh.
The good laugh came at too high of a cost. A woman sitting next to us, and by next to us, I mean a mere inch away, was wearing a turquoise bikini. However, she had seemed to have forgotten to put the straps on, exposing everything.
After venturing into the cool musky blue water, we saw something worse than a woman who had forgotten to put her top on: fornication. There it was, two young locals enjoying the waves a bit too much. Needless to say, Emily was the first to interrupt their PDA (Public Display of Affection)- too public in this case.
Emily left and they continued on after conversing for a few minutes about why they chose to display their love in this way. She sure did know how to get the group riled up and chose to imitate them all the way back to shallow waters.
When I got on the crowded water boat filled with locals and tourists, alike, I instantly wanted to find a seat for the ride back to Venice. The afternoon in Lido had proven to be anything but silent. As I drifted into a daydream, I couldn’t help but picture the awe I had seen that afternoon.
Grace,
ReplyDeleteGreat choice of a scene that captures a slice of Venice. The heat, the crowds, the European attitude toward nudity in public.
It's a good starting point for wrapping your mind around a new experience.
There were a couple of spots in which you needed just a LITTLE more text to make your point of view or the scene clear.
The woman in the turqoise bikini is one. A reader might not understand whether she was topless or fully nude, from the way you wrote it (forgotten to put the straps on).
But also, why does a topless woman offend you? Can you work in your sensibilities on nudity to put the woman in context?
The sex scene really drives home your point, although using the word "fornication" sets a prudish tone. JOURNALISTIC QUESTIONS: How do you know they were locals? And how old were they, ballpark? "Young locals" can mean different things to different people, so work on the preciseness thing.
Lastly, two things don't work:
1. That line "either way, silence was not golden" could be trimmed, since the beach - as you described - was packed. There was no silence.
2. Your ending. You are going in the right direction - wrapping with that yearning for a moment of silence - but a seat on a crowded boat does not silence guarantee.
Maybe ending with a private moment you found later that day? Closing your eyes in the water and imagining isolation?